There's a bit of a problem...

Apparently I don't have lupus. In fact, my rheumatologist doesn't know what I've got. I am, according to him, at that annoying stage of a connective tissue disease where it doesn't make sense; the undifferentiated stage.

What does all that mean? Simple enough: I don't have lupus, therefore I don't get treatment. I am, once again, at that problematic stage where I get left to deal with the symptoms on my own while my GP can't do anything to help other than give me more painkillers.

More importantly, there's currently no explanation for anything that's going on. I'm currently waiting on a full blown flare, there's been enough warning signs, and no one knows why or what to do about me. I can't go back to my rheumatologist until it is a confirmed flare, which means I have to keep going on like this.

The hardest bit is trying to get my mind back into the way of thinking that comes with being undiagnosed. I now have nothing to say when people ask what's happening. I don't have any support groups or anything like that I belong to.

I'm now an undiagnosed whatever learning to live with life. (Although my GP has now suggested scleroderma, but, y'know, it takes forever for anyone to actually do anything about it!)